Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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