i barfeds in our rink
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
