Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
