my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
