so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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