This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
