her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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