My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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