It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
