So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She told me I should be a condom model.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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