found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
