I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
