Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
