I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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