KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
did i just pee glitter
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
