Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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