I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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