i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
