don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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