ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
