She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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