I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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