This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
