Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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