Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
