Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
