my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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