You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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