I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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