So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
