Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
