i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
