your thong is hanging out like whoa
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
