I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
