Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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