You're so nebulous sometimes
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
