i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
