i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
