you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
