so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
