I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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