Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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