trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
