they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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