Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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