its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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