At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
