And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You can't motorboat a personality
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
