my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
