Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
